LACo. FD Acadamy

Alright friends, it is finally happening. I start fire academy with LA County on the 13th of this month. It will be just over four months long, graduation day is February 19th. I covet your prayers for both me and my family. If I have time for updates during the academy I'll be posting them on Facebook. Talk to you later.

Asher has been gone four years

Warning: this post is not hopeful, not complete, it is broken. It might make you sad, though that is not it's purpose. I have tried so many times to write about the night Ashed died and sometimes I have put a great deal of words down on the page, other times only a few, always to be thrown away shortly after.

July 26th 2005

When Heather first found Asher not breathing and called me from the front room I was asleep. I woke up immediately and by the tone of her voice that something was very wrong. I pulled him out of his crib and started giving him cpr, shouting at Heather to call 911. I gave him cpr for 12 minutes before the ambulance arrived and the paramedic came in and took him in her arms and out of our little apartment.

The first hospital we went to was the wrong one, our little boy was not there. I was standing in an emergency room in the middle of the night with my crying wife and we did not know where our son was.

I remember when we finally found the right place a detective came in and asked us a bunch of questions, his tape recorder held out to catch our every choking word. He was doing his job, that night his job was to find out if we had something to do with what happened.

When they decided to transfer him to another hospital that specialized in infants I remember sitting in our car and watching as they put him back into the ambulance and started driving away. I watched as one of the guys who was standing outside noticed us waiting there, he tried to signal the ambulance driver to turn on his sirens, the driver didn't see him, I saw the concern in the other guys face, I understood he wanted them to turn on the lights and sirens, but only for our comfort, not because he thought our boy could be saved if they drove faster. We followed that ambulance through town, stopping at red lights from time to time.

I remember the doctors face when he told us that Asher had no brain activity, that when they removed his breathing tube he would not start breathing on his own. I remembered the moments after we had made the decision to remove Asher from life support. I went back into his room to ask the doctors if they could clean up the smear of what I assume was antiseptic around the tape that was holding his breathing tube in his mouth. I wanted him to look as much like our little boy as he could when Heather came in to say goodbye. They said they couldn't do it, they asked me to leave because the were taking a tissue sample from him so they could match him to possible recipients for his little organs that we had decided to donate. I asked my dad to pray over Asher before they took him away, dad cried, he prayed well, though for the first time in my life he did not seem to know what to say. I felt bad for asking him to do that. I remember being told after they took him away that his little organs were so damaged by lack of oxygen that none of them were usable for donating to others. I didn't understand. I don't understand.

If you take anything away from this at all let it be a commitment to learn cpr, I had not been certified for years and could hardly remember what to do, I always wonder if I could have made a difference, I wonder if I was doing it wrong.

Treasure your family, you never know how much longer you have. So many times as I watch my Avery and North play together I wonder what kind of little man Asher would have been. I can not help but imagine him being a wonderful brother to them both.

I am so blessed to know that Asher is with my Father in heaven now, I try and imagine it, I know I fall short, yet even in my limited imagination it is beautiful, I am blessed.

edit: Moments after I posted this my son North came up and started crawling all over me laughing and hugging and being silly, for a moment I tried to get him to go away because I was feeling sad and distracted, then I realized that he was there to remind me that I REALLY am blessed, so we wrestled and laughed. God is good.

a case for twitter

I started using Twitter because my baby sister asked me to, I did it to be nice. After a short time using it I found myself reconnecting with two guys that I otherwise would not have had contact with, one had been a previous good friend and the other was just an acquaintance and now is a close friend. This is one of my favorite merits of Twitter, the ease it lends to connecting with friends (and family) if you so desire.

The second thing that I find I enjoy immensely about Twitter is knowing what people are up to. I do not follow any celebrities or people I don't know (not that there's anything wrong with that....) and most of the time it is fun to know what is going on in peoples lives. Some of the time the details are mundane but when something big is going on it a persons life you know and are able to pray for them, celebrate with them or make fun of them, whatever fits. Whenever other peoples lives get too much for you to handle you can just turn Twitter off, take a break. I do my best to remember to turn Twitter off when I go on dates with Heather and in certain social situations when looking at my phone from time to time is considered rude.

Last but not least it makes me laugh almost daily. Things that Annamae's kids say, stuff that happens to Cathy, Dad's commentary on other people situations and most things Darrin says. Everyone enjoys a good laugh and if you follow the right people you'll find yourself smiling at something you just read while you waited in line for your McHappyMeal.

It is somewhat of an inside joke between Dad and I that whenever we try and explain Twitter to a non-user they look back at you blankly or openly mock you for doing something so silly and perhaps even vain. I have no idea how to get around this, though with this post I am hoping to win some converts, (specifically some Haynes or some Lilley's from the North). Is seems to me that the only thing that convinces most people to Tweet is trying it out for awhile. The only people I know who have started and stopped are people who had no choice in the matter, people who may or may not lose their jobs if they continued to do so.

So please, do us all a favor, we really want to know what is going on in your life. And lets face it, neither of us are going to call the other on a regular basis, we're both "too busy".

Follow this link to start up: Twitter

P.S. It really is very easy, even Obama does it.

you will enjoy this (thanks mcwatterblogged)

Background Investigation Passed

I just received a letter from L.A. County Fire, it is a conditional offer of employment contingent upon the successful clearance of a pre-employment medical examination.

In other words I passed my background investigation and am only one step away from getting a job with the top Fire Department in the state (perhaps the globe?).

I am beyond pleased.

Thank you for your prayers my friends.

Till We Have Faces

I recommend you read "Till We Have Faces" by C.S. Lewis. The following passage is from the very end so it's kind of a spoiler, maybe, so if your going to read the book you may not want to read this post.




"-I ended my first book with the words no answer. I know now, Lord, why you utter no answer. You are yourself the answer. Before your face questions die away. What other answer would suffice? Only words, words; to be led out to battle against other words. Long did I hate you, long did I fear you. I might-"



and it ends there, I am often amazed as I read Lewis how succinctly he can put something into words, something that I can only feel, and even then the feeling is vague, a shadow I can not really grasp.


(if the above confused you just go down to the library and read the book, it's not long.)

iloveyougoodbye

I never know what to title these

I got to spend most of today with my brother, it was really cool, I enjoy his company a great deal. I need to make it a priority to see him more often.

(my sisters too)

We went to see X-Men Origins - Wolverine last night, I really liked it. Great summer action movie.

This week has been a tough one on a couple levels, no details right now, just prayer.

I ran for the first time in months this week, it was tough, but it was with my dad, I enjoy running with dad.

My kids seem bent on total disobedience right now and it's tough, I feel bad for mom and dad having to live through all the craziness of little people growing up again.

I had an encouraging talk with my background investigator (LA County) last week. Nothing is solid yet, I still have not passed my background, but things are looking somewhat positive on that front.

It sounds like I have a solid week of work ahead of me and perhaps even the beginnings of a very busy month. That would be really good for the finances, not so great to be gone for extended periods of time but that's what I signed up for so, it is what it is.


Reading:
Till We Have Faces - C.S. Lewis
For Men Only - Jeff Feldhahn

Listening:
Midnight Organ Fight - Frightend Rabbit (I can't stop listening to this CD)
Lost Channels - Great Lake Swimmers
Blood Bank - Bon Iver
Vheissu - Thrice (all time favorite)

learn something new

a story from the Iraq

The following story is true, it has not been embellished or dramatized. Some of the names have been changed to protect the places or people whose names were changed (omitted)



During one of my deployments to Iraq I took a stroll down from our top secret camp into the common area where all the legs and Air Force people could be found slacking off. I was with three friends from my team and our goal was to do some shopping at the PX (a General Store of sorts) and get some lunch. After we made our purchases in the PX we walked over to the local "fast" food place.

The fast food place was laid out like a mall food court, a burger place on the left, a fried chicken shack, a pizza place and finally a Mexican place providing the end cap.

On most of our visits we got pizza, because it was decent and pretty safe we felt, one never knew what those burgers were really made of, or what those chickens had been eating prior to the battering and frying. And even though the peperoni tasted like ham, we never got sick eating it.

On this visit however we wandered over to the counter of the mexican place just to look, I started asking some questions of the guy behind the counter. All of these places were staffed by guys from Turkey (I have no idea why), they even had little Turkish flags flying all over the place behind the counters (no Turkish delights unfortunately). As I was asking the gentleman some basic questions about the menu he kept trying to rush me along, he kept telling me I would love each thing on the menu. Not being a big fan of pushy sales people I decided to just get some safe pizza. All of the sudden the guy behind the counter reaches out and snatches the twenty dollar bill I had been holding in my hand since we left the PX and shouts "I order for you! You like!". As he is shouting he is also shoving my twenty into his register and thrusting a couple dollars back at me. I just stood there staring at him for a moment, pulling a stupid face. All my friends are dying of laughter behind me and this Turkish fellow is beaming with delight and hopping around behind the counter, shouting something I couldn't understand at the cook hidden somewhere in the back. I could not believe the bravado this guy had to just snatch my money like that. We were after all, Rangers, and as such we were armed to the teeth, who would think do such a thing? I tried to convince this guy to give me my money back but he wouldn't do it and was causing a scene, I hate scenes so I gave up and went to sit down and wait for whatever this man had just "sold" me.

My friends were all still chuckling and poking fun at me, and they were eating pizza long before my food came out. When my food finally did come out I heard it before I saw it, an angry sizzling from behind the counter, then I saw the pillar of smoke, followed by the tray itself, billowing smoke, hissing and spiting like the mighty Smaug himself. As the guy made his way across the floor to our table the sizzling didn't get any quieter and the smoke didn't become less dense, in fact it began to fill the rest of the eating area. Everyone else in the place was now staring at our table, at me and my new scene. Grinning ear to ear here comes the same guy who snatched my money, he places the tray in front of me, makes what sounds like a snide comment in what I assume is Turkish and looks to my friends to share a laugh, which they all do with much pleasure. Then he turns on his heal and bounces back to his counter where he and the previousely invisible cook set up shop to watch me eat from across the room.

What now lays in front of me appears to be some form of fajitas. There are some long strips of sizzling, writhing brown meat, I don't believe it was beef, something was about it was just not right. Some assorted vegetables along with some flour tortillas. The smoke slowly died away along with the sizzling. I eyeballed the plate and decided to eat it, all of it. I was fairly certain that I would become ill from the meat, however, I was not about to waste 18 dollars on something that I didn't eat so I took care of business. It didn't taste bad, it didn't taste good, not something I would order again if I was back there, for several reasons.

This story was the bane of my existence for the rest of the deployment. For years afterword I would refuse to order fajitas in a restaurant, even going so far as to request that other people at my table not order them, I didn't want a scene to be made at my table. Now you know.

Failure to stop

I got a ticket yesterday for failing to come to a complete stop at a stop sign. I had taken the kids with me to drive down to Goshen and pick up my paycheck. On the way back Avery started whining and telling me she needed to go to the bathroom. We were close to home at this point and thus out in the county where there are no places to stop for a bathroom. She started crying and I did what I could to make her understand that she would not be in trouble if she had to pee before we got home because I couldn't find her a bathroom in time. She was too hysterical to listen though and I felt really bad. I pulled up to the last stop sign before reaching our house and I believe I stopped. As soon as I turned I saw the Highway Patrol truck pull out on the opposite side of the road, he had been sitting in an abandoned lot on the corner. I wondered what he was doing over there and just kept driving. He did a u turn and hit his lights, at this point I thought he was responding to something else, I had no idea he was after me. Rather than pull over to the right to get out of the way I pulled into our neighborhood on the left since he was still a ways back. I was surprised to see him follow me in and I realized he was after me, though I still had no idea why. I figured he had mistaken my car for someone else they were looking for or something. The trooper came to my window and informed me that I didn't come to a full and complete stop. I trust that he was right, I was stressed by Avery's wailing and I probably didn't fully stop. I gave him my license and registration and he brought back the ticket. I explained to him that I was in the background process with LA and I was worried that this would hurt my chances, he told me I could take traffic school, which didn't really address what I was trying to tell him. But I respected him and understood he was doing his job so without anymore talk I signed the ticket. Before he left I offered my hand and told him that my cousin was a trooper in Montana and had been killed in action and that I appreciated the job he was doing. I didn't do this to get out of the ticket (I already had it in my hand) I just wanted to express my gratitude that he was out there serving. He gave me a weird look, said "uh" and walked away. I know he thought I was making something up to try and get out of the ticket one last time. I wouldn't have given it back to him at that point even if he had asked. I do appreciate the job he is out there doing, I wish he knew I really meant what I said. I also wish I had come to a full and complete stop. I have no idea how this will effect my background, I called my investigator right away (left a voicemail) now I just have to wait and see.

I have an X shaped scar on my right hand

Right now I am waiting anxiously to hear from LA County Fire on the status of my background check. I am very ready to start serving my country in some capacity again, hopefully I am what the department is looking for.

Work has been really slow at APCO, my boss continues to be awesome and gives me first priority whenever a job comes along.

Heather has been such a wonderful wife and friend during this hard month, I am so thankful to have her in my life.

Avery and North are beasts right now. They are also very sweet and learning and growing so fast. (scary fast) We can barely keep up with them.

That's all for now, talk to you later. Also, call me sometime, we should spend some time together.


Reading: Till We Have Faces-C.S. Lewis

Listening: Hold Time-M.Ward / The Hazards of Love-the Decemberists / The Midnight Organ Fight-Frightend Rabbit

159 - Last Call

I can not begin to express how amazing it was to attend Mike's funeral. To see my fallen brother so honored, to see his faith in God so brightly on display for all to see was a wonderful blessing. Sometimes things happen in life and no matter what anyone says to cheer you up you know you will never understand why. People may tell you that everything is in Gods plan and according to His timing, and even though you believe that same thing with all your soul it doesn't help. For me the loss of Mike is one of those things. Seeing the way John and Mel handled everything was such a blessing. To hear Matt talk about his brother, through some tears, to over 1700 people was just awesome, he did an amazing job. The letters written by John, Mel and Tawny were all so perfect. Jamison also did a great job sharing his memories of Mike. It was so clear that God had (has) His hands on this family, even through this tragedy. I was deeply impressed at the family's thankfulness for the entire law enforcement community, and the concern they expressed for their safety and salvation. It was an honor to have known Mike, he is my hero, my brother.

The text below was called out over the radio during the funeral.

"All units and stations, clear the radio for a moment of silence in honor of our fallen friend, Montana Highway Patrol Trooper, Michael Haynes, MHP 159.


159 Kalispell Direct, Status Check.


159 Kalispell Direct, Status Check.


159 Kalispell Direct.

Copy 159 you are now off shift, en route to that place your heavily father has prepared for you. May God’s benediction go with you, and be with those who mourn your passing. We cherish your memory and your dedication and service to the Montana highway patrol and to the people of Montana.”

thrown to the wolves

You know what I am talking about. My dad has resigned from Hume Lake. My entire family has come back to Hume to be with him and mom during this time. We have been talking and hanging out mostly, just this morning we started going through our old school work and throwing most of it away, keeping the stuff we want to remember. All of my memories are here, it feels like we have lost a part of our family. I am not bitter or angry, I'm not going to stop coming to Hume, I don't hate the people who made theses decisions. I do think they are wrong. Right now I am grateful that I don't have much work so that I can be available to help mom and dad through some of this. Several good friends have shined through in the last couple days and for them I am thankful, I know that there are so many more that have already talked to dad and mom and more will continue to do so. I love my family, I love Hume, it will never be quite the same but I'm not afraid of what the future will bring. God has allowed worse things to happen."Tis but a scratch!"

I wrote the above a couple weeks ago right after Dad had resigned, I took it down to change some wording, nothing serious.

Since then Mom and Dad have moved in with Heather and I down here in Clovis. I was able to drive up and help Dad load up the big moving truck. I was again glad I could be available to help, it was really hard emotionally though, just too many memories up there I guess. I walked out behind the house before I left and look at the place I first kissed a girl (my wife), just to rub a little more salt in the wound.

I know Dad and Mom are concerned about landing on their feet in this down economy, that is not one of my concerns. I have lived my entire life with people I respect a great deal telling me how much they respect my dad, how talented he is. This will be a good thing for them in the end.

I am still struggling with the ?why? of all this. I still think the people involved have made a big mistake. However, I still love Hume and I fully expect God to continue to use it in mighty ways, despite some foolhardy choices made by bent men.

159 Last Call

Go to http://mhaynes1982.spaces.live.com/

my computer is dead

So this blog is dead as well. For now...

pictures by a river

Recently Heather and I took the babies down to the river for a picnic in the back of the car (cold outside) some photos and rock throwing.

I think Heather is very beautiful and takes great pictures.
The babies enjoyed the big splashes. The fishermen downstream did not.

Avery is working on her "choke out North" technique, she needs a little work on her form but as you can see she is coming along nicely.

Tungsten

Last weekend Heather and I went to Hume Lake to visit my family, help decorate the Lilley family Christmas tree and find the Tungsten mine (me). If your not from Hume (even if you are) you might not know what the tungsten mine is, if that is the case all I can say is somewhere in the forest "near" Hume Lake there is a very old mine. If you want to find it you have to locate someone who has been there and try and get them to give you directions. Most people fail to find this mine, and end up crawling on their bellies in the dirt underneath the unforgiving manzanita bushes for hours before giving up and returning to camp, defeated. The mine is on the topographical maps for the Hume area but most people can't read maps.

My brother Edward had been out looking for the mine twice this year, without success. I had always wanted to find it myself but had never been motivated enough to go looking. My dad had found the mine himself many years ago and is among the privileged few who can tell you how to get there. I should mention that just because he can does not mean he will.

Sunday morning we drove down to the end of the road and started the four mile walk to the end of that road. Once we got out into the wilderness we had a couple of small false starts, lots of crawling around under the brush and in the end we were successful. We had made a deal with Dad that he could not tell us where to go, Edward and I wanted to find it on our own, and we did. I can't go into any detail as to what we found, or how we got there, it would spoil the adventure for any of you brave enough to go out and find it for yourselves. Suffice it to say that there was a good deal of "signs" of what had once been a mine. Once we had satisfied ourselves that there were not any old muskets or gold coins laying around amongst the debris left over from the old mine we set our sites on a spire of rock that sits right out on the edge of Kings Canyon.

After a short brisk climb we found ourselves looking out over the canyon, the sun was behind us casting long shadows down into the deep. The roar of the Kings River rose up to where we were standing but did not drown out the sounds of the rocks smashing into the ground after we threw them over the side, each time imaging what it would be like to fall. I found it entertaining that while we were up there none of us said anything about falling, but when we got back to the house we started talking about it and we had all been thinking about that very thing, going through different scenarios in our heads.

After we finished throwing rocks we began the long journey back to civilization. In total we did at least 12 miles in all and my legs were done. We ended the day with chili dogs and Christmas tree decoration with Heather, Mom and the babies.

(the comment above about people not being able to read maps should not be taken as a hint that Edward can not read maps. Nor should it be taken as an insult if you have tried and failed to find the mine.)

this is the sound of my voice

I have been all over this state in the last couple of months, in general I think California wins the cool state contest, in a strictly geographical sense of course.

I listen to almost nothing but Chuck Ragan, Dustin Kensrue and Bon Iver,during my drive to and from work.

I recently read the book Snow Crash by Neal Stephenson and I am currently reading Cryponomicon by the same. (thanks to Josh & Darin)

My wife's birthday is Friday (the 28th) I love her very much, she has been a wonderful mom and wife while I've been gone so much.

My boss (APCO) just gave me a 22lb fresh turkey for Thanksgiving.

The Nole Lilley family is going to the Trukki family Thanksgiving this year. It is sure to be tasty and delicious. The company will be really good too.

I have a very strong desire to wander around in the woods, I think I'll take my brother and go find a certain old tungsten mine that may or may not actually exist up in them thar hills.

Winter is my favorite time of year, but right now it means I'm going to have to find another job soon. I can't help but love the cold and the rain anyway.

The work boots that I bought a couple of months ago when I started this job no longer have what you would call a soul. They melted away in the asphalt. Next time I'll buy boots with harder souls.

I am praying that L.A. County fire calls me on Monday to tell me I'm next in line for the background check.

The End.

this is my job

I have been at my new job with APCO (Asphalt Dike Construction Inc.) for two weeks now. The work is good, a much better fit for me than my previous job. I will be out of town often and that will be (has been) the hard part of this job. During the first week I was gone I got to experience the all to familiar feeling of missing my family. It has been over three years since I was away in the military, but the feeling came right back, just like it had never left.

It's a little hard to see in this cell phone picture but this is what I do now. The machine in the background with the guys next to it is the dike paver. The truck in the foreground is the service truck that carries all the tools and parts to keep the machine running. My primary job is to follow along in the service truck, get out to shovel asphalt, build transitions and ends on the dike, keep track of how many feet we put down, and spray tack on the road before we pave. Tack is a nasty brown substance that will kill you if you get some on yourself, but it makes the new dike stick to the old road like nothing else.

I took these pictures out on Academy, just North of Herndon. It was warm out during this job. I'm just thankful it's not the middle of summer right now, 86 is nothing compared to 100+.

Last Day

I only have thirty more minutes at my print shop job. I am moving on to some hard manual labor starting Monday morning. I have been at this job just over a year and am parting on good terms with my boss. I am looking forward to the new challenge that awaits me. This blog (not that one from last week) might be my last for some time. If you want to know what's going on with me join Twitter and follow me, I'll continue to post there on a regular basis.

Farewell soft nerfy life. No longer will I continue to sit on my biscuit, never having to risk it.

Once

Heather and I watched this movie last night after two good friends (Josh & Ben) recommended it. Josh (of joshua introspective fame) showed me the first scene and I was sold, I couldn't wait to get home and watch the whole movie with Heather. I am probably way behind the curve on this movie and you have all seen it. If that is the case then shame on you for not telling me to watch it sooner! Actually you get a pass because most of you will be surprised that I like this movie at all. Josh pointed out that this movie suffers from some horrible cover art, Ben opined that it looks like the type of movie that Hugh Grant would star in. I strongly agree, I would never pick this movie out while roaming through Blockbuster. However, after watching it I would place it amongst my favorite movies, and at the same time I've "discovered" a couple of artists that I thoroughly enjoy listening to. If I rated movies on some kind of normal scale I would give this one full marks, stars, high fives or good games. It is rated R for language, so be ready for that. Although most of the curse words I think I missed due to the thick accents of the main characters...

If you do watch it and you want to know what hooked me in, it was the song Say It To Me Now, so much emotion in that song/performance.

willow tree carcass

I spent a good deal of my time this weekend moving the dead remains of the huge willow tree that had to be cut down early this summer. All of the trunk I had already cut down into nice rounds for easy splitting later on when it's cold enough to have a fire. The larger branches needed to be cut down into proper firewood size. My chainsaw had become more like a chainbutterknife after all the work cutting the tree down, so I went to Lowe's and got a four dollar file to sharpen the chain. I'm quite pleased that Rich Kawamoto taught me how to sharpen chainsaws all those years ago, because a new blade was about thirty dollars. As I was working my way through the pile I came across dozens of black widows, adults mostly but also a handful of babies. I also found a large dead rat. This explains the stench of death that I had detected months before but could never track down. It also marks the second large dead rat I have found in the neighborhood. I think I will have some Wolverine style claws installed into Ratbears front paws so she can take care of this impending rat invasion.

I was going to post a photo of this dead rat, but it really was too gruesome for your weak constitutions.

Ketchup Packet

At lunch today I was placing some ketchup onto my plate using the ubiquitous ketchup packet. As I was doing so I encountered a problem that has plagued me most of my life. When I use the packet of ketchup grasp it using my left hand, with my right I pull open the upper right corner in a vertical direction. I then flip the packet over and dispense the ketchup onto my plate with great aplomb. Here is where I sometimes run into a problem. In some cases, today being one of them, I get a bit anxious for the ketchup and I don't follow through enough with my opening, tearing a smaller hole than needed for the free flow of ketchup. When I begin to squeeze the packet I notice immediately that the stream of ketchup is too narrow, the packet is not emptying quickly enough for my liking. It is at this point that I make a choice that I know will most likely end in disaster. I become so anxious for the ketchup that I squeeze the packet harder. This extra pressure inevitably causes the stream of ketchup to lose control, and I watch it begin to migrate across the plate towards me. I then squeeze even harder, in one last tragic effort to empty the packet before it gets completely out of hand and sprays on my shirt. This action always causes the undesired effect to happen immediately. I find myself with the last bit of ketchup blasting onto my shirt with extreme prejudice. This is very embarrassing when I'm out in a crowded restaurant with my wife, and even a little humbling when I'm alone.

There is of course an easy solution to this problem, several in fact. But for now I remain too impatient for the tasty red sauce to care about any "easy" solutions.

this morning

Reluctantly I woke up this morning, upon doing so I found the following scene. Avery had climbed into our bed, along with Ratbear, North was curled up at the foot of the bed on the floor. My whole little family was right there, peaceful and all still asleep. I had one of those moments that used to be so familiar to me when I was in the military. It used to be that whenever I was doing something fun or relaxing on my free time my mind would remind me at some point that I was going to have to leave again soon, go on a deployment. I have had that same feeling several times during the last couple of days, knowing that in less than two weeks I will be gone most of the week, every week. This has been tough for me but I know as a man, as a father I have to be the provider. Staying home with my wife and kids is what I really want to do, but I can't ignore the fact that I'm not providing for all their needs right now.

On a more positive note I spent a good hour talking to my new boss and had a really great time getting to know him a little better. It turns out he knows my parents from back before I was born, and he remembers when they had me. I'm hoping to get some good stories out of him later about my parents when they were young and foolish. (like I am right now)

The work I'm going to be doing now sounds like it will be a much better fit for my personality. I will be required to get my class A drivers license and they are going to teach me how to weld. Two great skills to have in my opinion. I do have to join a union to get the job though, so as soon as that happens I will be changing my party affiliation to Democrat and voting for the Obama in November.

whistling past the graveyard

I am taking a new job, hopefully I will be able to start at the end of the week. I did offer my current employer the standard two weeks notice, but hopefully he will not need the full two weeks. Either way I will be working for a specialty paving company soon. The compensation is far better than what I am receiving now and it will provide some much needed relief for my family. It is a very labor intensive job but I am looking forward to that part. It has been a long time since I worked hard (manual labor) and to be honest I miss it. The one big drawback of the job is I will be out of town four to five nights per week. This aspect will be tough and it was a hard decision for me to make. It will give Heather and I a chance to practice, if you will, what it will mean if I ever get into a fire department. Another thing I will miss will be the three Bible studies I'm a part of right now. At this point I will ask two things of you.

1. Pray for my family and I during this transition.
2. Forgive me for the fact that I will not be posting to this blog anymore. Being that I will be out "in the field" and do not own a laptop.
   

Godspeed
Nole